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Advocates-‘I Want Domestic Violence to End With Me’
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Sunday, June 24, 2018
 

STORY AND PHOTOS BY KAREN BOSSICK

Tricia Swartling had two invitations for those assembled under the pavilion tent at Trail Creek Friday night.

The first was a call to invest in safe lives through their donations. The second was an invitation to see what their support has wrought.

The Advocates will break ground at noon Friday, June 29, on a building in the heart of Hailey that will support 18 apartments providing transitional housing for women and children who are awaiting permanent housing, she said. And, Swartling said, she welcomed each and every one to attend the event which will take place at a vacant lot on River Street between Croy and Walnut streets.

It’s a significant project for the Advocates and the community, she said. The capital campaign has so far raised $2.7 million of the $5 million project.

“One thing I know is that all of you have either experienced emotional, physical or sexual abuse. Or, you know someone who has. And one thing we’re finding with our clients is that they don’t have affordable places to live. You have to make $20 an hour to afford housing in this community,” she said.

About 250 people—the most ever—turned out for The Advocates’ 22nd annual Black & White Soiree Friday night, basking in evening rays from the sun beyond Baldy and conversation with friends.

“The Advocates have their fingers in so many parts of this valley,” said Art Dahl, one of 13 on the board of directors. “They’re in every one of the schools teaching kids how to avoid bullying, how to diffuse situations.  And, when people do find themselves being abused, they come to The Advocates to escape. Some of these people need affordable housing to get on their feet and the new capital campaign will help with that.”

Many of those attending the soiree brought a bottle of their favorite wine to add to the Wine Lot, with the winning bid of $2,500 going for 67 bottles of wine that had amassed by the time dinner started.

A week’s stay on an eight-acre estate in Provence contributed by Debra and Lyman Drake went for $6,500 to two separate bidders. A week in the old medieval area of Cortona, Italy, donated by April Brown, was awarded to two separate bidders for $2,300 twice.

And the donor of a lot for evening in a luxury sky box on the 50-yard line of the University of Oregon Ducks football game bought his lot back for $1,100.

Just in case, anyone needed motivation, they needed only listen to a tearful speech from one of The Advocates’ clients, who told of how she was in an abusive relationship with her husband for 20 years. The hitting and yelling started out of the blue and became a regular occurrence.

“I asked him not to hurt me and I remember him staring at me and spitting in my face,” said the woman, who asked to remain anonymous.

She was ashamed to talk about it for years. And, when she did, she was told it was her job to be with her husband, that “men are like that” and she should wipe her tears and cover her bruises.

“I thought this is what I deserved,” she said. “I mean, somehow he was the one I choose…”

Her wake-up call when she realized that her teenage daughter also had become involved in an abusive relationship. She got her daughter to a safe place and then, finally, she asked The Advocates for help.

“They took me in without hesitation…they gave us shelter, food, advice, support, education and counseling,” she said. “They gave me the tools I needed to stay strong and safe. It was the first time in a long time that I felt loved and felt that I was worth it.”

The woman now has a job, an apartment of her own and food on the table.

“I am here today because I want to talk about it. I want domestic violence to end with me,” she said. “I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for The Advocates, if it wasn’t or you.”

When the evening’s accounting was done, The Advocates had raised $44,400 from the live auction lots alone. And a preliminary accounting indicated that they had raised $164,000 on the evening, exceeding their goal by about $30,000, said auctioneer and emcee Mike Brown.

Just for good measure, former board president Joy Prudek challenged attendees to matching $1,000 pledges.

“I think the community is developing a greater awareness of all the programs the Advocates offer. They do everything from teaching women to build resumes to helping people when they need to leave a bad situation,” she said. “But there’s more work to do. Everyone deserves to be in a healthy relationship.”

Among those taking part in the evening was Stormi Greener Brown, who had photographed war scenes around the world but was moved just as much by a domestic abuse program similar to The Advocates that she had seen while living in Minneapolis.

Another was Ann Parry, one of 35 volunteers assisting with the soiree, who helps women craft resumes for The Advocates Skills for Success class.

“It’s fun to work with them,” she said. “They always say, ‘I don’t have any work experience.’ Then you get to talking with them and find out they have all kinds of experience.”

Dr. Tom Archie, who is taking over as president of the board, noted that the Advocates first act after responding to a teenage victim of sexual assault in 1991 was to offer hotel vouchers for those enduring domestic violence.

Today it serves, nearly 600 clients a year—20 percent who stay in the shelter. And the program works with people in Camas, Lincoln and Custer counties, as well as Blaine.

“It’s hard to explain the breadth of services they offer from housing to legal services to a money management class that includes a 1 to 1 match for savings,” he said. “I joined the board five years ago because I am crazy about the services they offer. And addressing the problem of personal violence and trying to prevent it is something a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of people  can benefit from.”

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